Lipinski Stradivarius, you've done it!

Lipinski Stradivarius violin, you've done it.  You've made me want to hear you in PERSON.

 If this was your sick twisted magical way of making me want to buy a Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra ticket, bravo.  THIS is quite the performance.

Before the 6 million dollar musical instrument went missing, this was my favorite classical performance.

This, even though I played the following instrument in high school.

Lipinski, you did it.  You had me fascinated, when a couple armed with a taser attacked the MSO concertmaster as he walked out of a recent performance.

What's that?  It may be the largest heist in Milwaukee history.  Of course it is.  You were made in 1715? Why didn't I know that?

So where's the violin?  New York?

No it would be impossible to sell a 6 million dollar violin in the US without getting caught.
Russia?
Maybe.
China?

OK, that's IT!  A network of international criminals has stolen the violin and shipped it to China to be sold to emperors who care little about its origin.

Wait....  what's that you say?  It's in Bay View?  Like the one over the Hoan Bridge?

Interesting...

It was tracked using evidence left behind by the taser, which led cops to a sale from Texas, which tipped them to a man in Wisconsin?

I'm listening...

The man's name is Universal Knowledge Allah?

AND HE RECENTLY CUT MILWAUKEE MAYOR TOM BARRETT'S HAIR????!

Lipinski.  You've outdone yourself.  I need to hear you.  Move over Jurassic Park, get me some popcorn, because I want to hear this puppy for myself.  In the meantime I'm going to watch this video 40-thousand times.